Sundays

1/28/24

I used to hate Sundays. They reminded me of everything that had to be done in the following week. Now, I love Sundays. I have my routine each Sunday. I like the calm I feel in Charleston.

Being an anxious person, I’ve had to learn how my body responds to situations - what makes me nervous, certain patterns I might notice about myself, etc. I hadn’t realized that in the past my body had gotten so used to enduring some form of stress, that I truly didn’t know what it felt like to “even out” and feel calm.

The past few years of my life have been fast. While I don’t have much control over growing up, moving out and leaving old routines are quick to begin with. I was very used to a self-inflicted productivity mentality(a very toxic mentality to have I know). As crazy as it sounds, I had to teach myself and my body how to truly relax. For years, I remember my mom saying to me that one day everything will slow down and I won’t feel like I’m sprinting anymore. Life won’t feel like it’s coming full speed ahead.

Today I took a moment to look around me and realized that I haven’t felt that anxious “running full speed ahead” feeling in a long time. I now take time to enjoy little moments more and more. I do things that make me happy. I appreciate how many changes I’ve gone through the past few years and where that’s taken me. While it definitely helps being in such a beautiful environment, and I’m not saying I’ll never feel stressed again, I’m starting to realize that this way of life might be what my mom was talking about all these years.

Finally feeling grounded and at peace with the way life is today - not tomorrow, not in a year, not in a couple years. Just feeling good about the present. I feel blessed to have people in my life that are solid. I feel blessed to finally have that calmer mindset I once thought wasn’t attainable. And I feel very blessed to be in a place that makes me appreciate the Sundays in my life more :)